I have seen friendships die in silence.

This silence did not come because of a betrayal or a street fight. It came because the lubricant dried up.

We all have friends from school, college, and university. Classmates were many, but only some turned into friends. And among them, few still remain; thanks to WhatsApp and Instagram.

The friends who still remain, are bonded by something of mutual interest. I call this the lubricant. It might be the love of reading, taste in music, shared dreams, some sport, some hobby, or even gossip.

If there’s no mutual interest as a binding factor, friendships seldom last for decades. There must be something to talk about when friends meet. Small talk doesn’t always work in sustaining friendships.

But yes, sometimes people do change. Reasons might be marriage, hectic work life, or other changing priorities. Distance grows, till you almost become strangers or hesitate to reach out to initiate even small talk.

Friendship grows on shared ground. When that ground cracks, the bond weakens. And you cannot pretend to care about something that no longer interestes you.

I have noticed this in my own life. Some friends were tied to a phase: school, college, or cities. When the phase ended, the bond faded. Promises to stay in touch were unconsciously forgotten. The only way I “stay in touch” with some is when I touch their names on my phone’s screen while scrolling though my list of contacts.

I think this is why old friendships are rare, and are the ones most valued. They are all about walking at the same pace for as long as life allows, or as long as the lubricant lasts.