As my car came to a halt in the traffic jam, I noticed her. She handed out a packet of food to an old, poor man sitting on the footpath, in dirty and tattered clothes. It was probably some leftover morsels from the dinner she just had in the restaurant nearby. And before handing over the packet, she made sure that her friend was there with the camera, recording her act of “generosity”. She wanted a photo or a video to post in her social media. Sure she helped the needy, but only after making sure that she was being recorded. Then she probably posted it on social media, threw a few hashtags, and waited for all the praise to roll in.

It wasn’t charity. It was a game. A twisted, self-serving game where the giver felt like a saint and the receiver was just a prop. No one pondered how the person on the other end felt – holding out his hands for help while a phone was slyly capturing the moment. Dignity? Respect? Insignificant. All for a few likes, a bit of validation, a pat on the back from random strangers.

People love to call it charity or philanthropy, but it’s neither. It’s ego. If it was really about helping, no one would need to know. There would be no posts, no stories, no staged moments. The best kind of charity is done in the dark, away from public presence, when no one’s watching, and no one’s clapping. That’s real, and that’s what matters.

But unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that anymore. People have turned kindness into a show, and compassion into a brand. It’s disgusting. The more they give, the more they want to be seen giving. The more attention they get, the bigger their ego grows. Their craving for attention rises exponentially. And the person they are “helping” are left feeling humiliated, reminding them of their helplessness and insignificance. They didn’t just give them money or food, they took something from them too – their pride, their self-respect. But a poor person who has not had a good meal in weeks or months, would not care about his self-respect or advocate for it. If something beats his hunger, he’d take it irrespective of his ego. It seems like the poor cannot afford to have an ego.

Circling back, what’s the point? If the only reason you’re helping someone is to boost yourself, it’s not help at all. It’s hollow and self-serving. It means nothing.

Charity should be private; otherwise it is not charity, it’s just publicity. Deeds of charity must remain between the donor and the receiver, no one else. Anything more, and it’s just feeding your own greed. Not with money, but with attention. And, that’s the ugliest kind of charity there ever is.